


Out of Perdition

by raileht



Category: Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, S03E15 Live from Damascus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:26:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raileht/pseuds/raileht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wasn’t going to let them take him, not without a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Perdition

**Author's Note:**

> I only wrote this after seeing that scene with Diane and Will when he tells her about the possibility he might be disbarred. Have not seen the full episode yet as I'm still packing for a trip--my flight leaves in two hours so I had to hurry to write this. I'm sorry for the typos--promise I will get back to this after I return from my trip. And I'm watching the full episode on the plane so for now, I gotta dash! Ciao.

 

 

 

_“It never ends, does it? Once they have you in their grasp…they never let go.”_

She was never the kind of child to be much afraid of anything.

This is a fact she knows, has always known about herself as far as she can remember, because it was one of the things that her father never failed to be so proud of. She was born fearless, born daring, born to fight and was raised that way. It was in her blood, running through her veins. It’s who she is.

But that didn’t mean she didn’t feel fear now and again.

She felt it when she thought an old ghost from her past was coming back for her, felt it every time she walked into the parole hearings for Jeffrey Spellman. She knows fear and every time it even dares to linger, she fights it—with everything she has.

Fear isn’t something she feels often, but it’s something she taught herself to recognize. Know your enemy, as they say, and fear was that: an enemy. She knows what it feels, where it lingers, when it comes. It comes in all shapes in sizes and she’s taught herself how to _know_.

It’s what she saw when she looked into the eyes of Will Gardner.

He’s on the verge of losing everything, yet again and it’s not any different for her—she’s there for him, she will shadow him if need be—be anything he might need because that’s what partners do.

It’s what she does best, for him.

Like the Grand Jury, she’s going to be by his side for whatever else might be thrown at him. She would be ready for anything, expect whatever may come.

She’s angry—even angrier now because it never seems to end. Like a bad joke that won’t quit. She’s angry because she knows deep down, no matter how much he would like to portray to the world that he’s just like any other guy who happens to be good at his job, she knows there’s more there.

He’s not just good—he _loves_ his job. There’s passion, there’s that kind of gift for the law that not any other John Doe with a degree can create out of thin air.

And damn it, she cares about him. A lot more than she would like to admit because, yes, they’re grownups and the world is cynical and Eli Gold has that irritating notion that she sees her firm as more than it should be. But she doesn’t give a damn, at least, not at the moment. She _cares_ about Will Gardner, where’s the crime in that? Is it so impossible?

That was why she started off angry—because it’s hypocrisy, disgusting, shameful and because it pisses her off to see him being threatened for some stupid decision he made fifteen years ago. Was it stupid? Yes, it was, but she didn’t see that as any reason to have his life be left in shambles because of it. He didn’t deserve to have what he loved the most taken away for a single, stupid mistake.

Off the top of her head, she can name ten people without breaking a sweat who deserved more to be thrown out of the bar because god knows just how they could pervert the law even just by breathing, by existing.

Will is afraid, she understood that, but what made her even angrier as she sat with him was the obvious dimming of the light in his eyes. No, he was never bright eyed and dreamy, that wasn’t Will, but there was always that light there, that _fire_ and not even the circus that had been the Grand Jury had been able to extinguish that.

This has though, the latest threat he was facing only this time, it was an even bigger threat and he was scared enough that she didn’t have to look hard to see it. It’s _there_ , bare for _her_ to see.

She didn’t like it.

He’s always been a darker kind of creature, she saw it when she met him. It was the kind of darkness that had intrigued her. Sure, she saw mischief—he was young, but there was the darkness there. The kind that told her that there was so much more hidden there, underneath.

Then she saw his eyes.

Dark yet at the same time bright, not with the usual naiveté or idealistic flair she was used to seeing on first year associates because heaven knew he was well beyond that by the time they met. But there was something there, the kind of fire that was being obscured from her vision now as she watched him, sitting in front of her, staring at something she couldn’t see, something only he could see.

She’s never seen him broken, but taking him in, taking his darkness without that fire? He might as well be. He hadn’t even begun to fight, but she can see he felt beaten already. A part of him already believed there was no way out.

_No statute of limitation._

Son of a bitch.

And she’s angry all over again.

Because if there was anything she never expected to see in Will Gardner, it was hopelessness.

He was the young blood, he was the new thing Jonas Stern had brought into the firm all those years ago. He liked to laugh, liked to share a drink and share funny stories. He had different kind of laughs, the booming one, the one where he’s practically giggling with glee, the one he used when he’s trying to screw with someone. She knew them well because she laughed with him and was rather fond of doing so.

They know how to make each other laugh just about as well as they can make each other bleed when the times got dark.

She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to that.

The man sitting in front of her…was not Will Gardner, at least, not the man she knew.

He was being clawed at, he was afraid and rapidly losing hope and it was no different than watching someone bleed to death. He was giving in before anything could even be done.

And it takes a hell of a _lot_ to beat Will, that much she knows.

But he might as well be, sitting in his office with her.

It’s not a look on him she _ever_ wants to see.

So losing is not an option, losing _him_ is not an option.

The names flowed easily, people she’s known for years, people she’s shared secrets with, people who owe her a favor or two. Names from the rolodex in her head, significant names she can reach—markers. Her mind is going far down the list even before she’s out of the room.

She didn’t offer him words of empty promises that it was going to be okay because she’s never been one to make promises she can’t keep, _but_ she pushed him to fight and she always will.

Because she wasn’t about to watch him go down without doing anything about it and that sure as hell meant she was going to allow him to do that to himself. He was a fighter, just like her. It takes a lot more than ‘boo’ to make them scurry.

She gave him what she could—a firm squeeze on the shoulder and silent strength because no words were needed, not for this. They’ve known each other long enough and she respected him too much to bullshit him in the midst of it all.

Gathering her things without even thinking about it, she was out the door and didn’t even look back, didn’t even look at his office as she exited hers. She didn’t care to waste any more time doing so and her exit was hasty enough to make her assistant bolt upright from her seat. It’s never a good sign when she’s rushing.

But she doesn’t care because the rolodex in her brain was whirring and the names were flowing. It stopped at three, she narrowed it down to one and what conversations might take place was already running in her mind by the time she gets to the elevator. She knew what was there for them to offer in exchange for saving him, if it ever came to that, and there’s no limit to how far she was willing to go to do so.

She knows fear for what it is, sees hopelessness when it begins to take hold.

They were on Will Gardner’s face, they were laced into his words, into the dull tones that had taken over his voice. He was beginning to feel empty, to _be_ empty.

And all of that made Diane Lockhart angrier than she’s ever been in so long.

_No way in hell._

She wasn’t going to let them take him, not without a fight.

Because that’s what partners do.

And because she was allowed to give a damn.


End file.
